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Why Relationships Matter


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Why Relationships Matter

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  • Skip to main content Psychology Today Find a Therapist Find a Therapist Therapists Therapists Psychiatrists Treatment Centers Support Groups x Therapists : Login | Sign Up United States Austin, TX Brooklyn, NY Chicago, IL Denver, CO Houston, TX Los Angeles, CA New York, NY Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA Washington, DC Get Help Mental Health Addiction Anxiety ADHD Asperger's Autism Bipolar Disorder Chronic Pain Depression Eating Disorders Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness Personal Growth Goal Setting Happiness Positive Psychology Stopping Smoking Relationships Low Sexual Desire Relationships Sex Family Life Child Development Parenting View Help Index Do I Need Help? Self Tests Therapy Center NEW Recently Diagnosed? Diagnosis Dictionary Types of Therapy Talk to Someone Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Magazine Current September 2020 Love: What Really Matters A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude. Subscribe Recent Issue Archive Today Most Popular The Profound Rewards of Staying Single 7 Words to Overcome Your Anxiety Living with a Husband with Borderline Personality Disorder 3 Techniques to Use If Motivation Is a Barrier to Exercise How to Maintain Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships Essential Reads Reflecting on the Life and Legacy of Scott Lilienfeld Cults and Cognition: Programming the True Believer Why Do We Resist Fact-Checking? Why It's So Hard to Understand Each Other Trending Topics Coronavirus Disease 2019 Narcissism Dementia Bias Affective Forecasting Neuroscience us Search Search Search Verified by Psychology Today Why Relationships Matter Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment. While need for human connection appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Some evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship starts to form in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they are theorized to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. The end of a relationship, however, is often a source of great psychological anguish. How to Build a Healthy Relationship Maintaining a strong relationship requires constant care and communication, and certain traits have been shown to be especially important for fostering healthy relationships. Each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time. In the 21st century, good relationships are generally marked by emotional and physical fairness, particularly in the distribution of chores necessary to maintain a household. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex. In good relationships, partners try to afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team. This feeling, maintained over the long term, can help couples overcome the challenges they will inevitably face together. article continues after advertisement How to Find Love Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful but frequently difficult process. Whether it's conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to encounter potential partners. To be successful, it is often necessary to go outside of one's comfort zone. Determining whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate, and whether a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love, can challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior. One possibly counterintuitive indicator of a potential match is one's sense of self. Someone who would make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their own self-concept. Another early signifier may be stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply to us can fuel anxiety. Other positive indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding relationship. Next: How People Find Love Essential Reads How to Maintain Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships Factors associated with sexual satisfaction in mixed-sex long-distance and geographically close relationships. 52 Reasons Why People Engage in Breakup Sex New research explores why people have sex with their exes. Do We Actually Know What We Want in a Romantic Partner? We all have preferences for our ideal mate, but research suggests what we say we want might not be what we choose when we come face-to-face with potential partners. Narcissistic Strategies for Attaining Power in Relationships Narcissists have a need for having power over their romantic partners. Which strategies they use to attain power and massage their self-image depends on narcissistic subtype. Recent Posts How We Lose Ourselves in Relationships Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT on October 3, 2020 in Toxic Relationships Dependency can creep into a relationship in small, unnoticed ways when that task wasn’t completed by adulthood. The struggle to achieve autonomy requires courage and often help. Dependency can creep into a relationship in small, unnoticed ways when that task wasn’t completed by adulthood. The struggle to achieve autonomy requires courage and often help. Is Your Partner Creating a Wedge with Others in Your Life? Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. on October 3, 2020 in Fulfillment at Any Age New relationships research shows that the idea that your partner will support you, no matter what, can have unintended consequences by creating wedges with others you care about. New relationships research shows that the idea that your partner will support you, no matter what, can have unintended consequences by creating wedges with others you care about. How to Make Yourself More Attractive Lawrence Josephs, Ph.D. on October 3, 2020 in Between the Sheets Do you want to make yourself more attractive? What's the secret? Learn psychology's laws of attraction. Do you want to make yourself more attractive? What's the secret? Learn psychology's laws of attraction. The One Thing You Shouldn't Say to a Bereaved Person Elaine Kasket Psy.D. on October 3, 2020 in The Online Mind These days, the first thing we wonder when someone dies is 'Was it Covid?' Asking the bereaved that question may be creating an incidental epidemic of disenfranchised grief. These days, the first thing we wonder when someone dies is 'Was it Covid?' Asking the bereaved that question may be creating an incidental epidemic of disenfranchised grief. How Asian Shame Can Perpetuate Imposter Syndrome Sam Louie MA, LMHC, S-PSB on October 2, 2020 in Minority Report Imposter syndrome is prevalent among the fellow Asians I see in my practice. Imposter syndrome is prevalent among the fellow Asians I see in my practice. Are You Overdrafting Your Relationship Bank Account? Josh Gressel Ph.D. on October 2, 2020 in Putting Psyche Back Into Psychotherapy You must make regular deposits into the bank of relationship good will with your spouse. Otherwise you risk overdrafting your account if you go through a stressful period together. You must make regular deposits into the bank of relationship good will with your spouse. Otherwise you risk overdrafting your account if you go through a stressful period together. Love or Projections? Susi Ferrarello Ph.D. on October 2, 2020 in Lying on the Philosopher's Couch When love is giving what you don't have to someone who doesn't want it When love is giving what you don't have to someone who doesn't want it 5 Steps to Prepare Aging Parents for a Bright Future Sean Grover L.C.S.W. on October 2, 2020 in When Kids Call the Shots 1. Have that talk that you're avoiding. 1. Have that talk that you're avoiding. Polyamory Has Become a Little More Mainstream Michael Castleman M.A. on October 1, 2020 in All About Sex This past summer, Somerville, Massachusetts became the first and only U.S. city to expand its domestic partnership ordinance to include multi-partner—polyamorous—groups. This past summer, Somerville, Massachusetts became the first and only U.S. city to expand its domestic partnership ordinance to include multi-partner—polyamorous—groups. How Can White Therapists Become Anti-Racist? Sari Cooper, CST, LCSW on October 1, 2020 in Sex Esteem If you're a white therapist, how have you and your BIPOC and white clients reacted to the BLM protests? Are you aware of what has come up in your body and theirs during sessions? If you're a white therapist, how have you and your BIPOC and white clients reacted to the BLM protests? Are you aware of what has come up in your body and theirs during sessions? More Recent Posts Relationships Center Why Relationships Matter How People Find Love Maintaining a Relationship Love and Sex Relationship Challenges Personality and Relationships The End of Relationships advertisement Relationships Resources Get Help Find a therapist to strengthen relationships City or Zip Connected Topics Sexual Orientation Flirting Mating Marriage Infidelity Polyamory Shyness Sex Jealousy Diagnosis Hypersexuality (Sex Addiction) Sexual Desire Disorder Test Yourself Commitment Readiness Love Diagnostics Romantic Personality Romantic Space advertisement Find a Therapist Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. City or Zip Cities: Atlanta, GA Austin, TX Baltimore, MD Boston, MA Brooklyn, NY Charlotte, NC Chicago, IL Columbus, OH Dallas, TX Denver, CO Detroit, MI Houston, TX Indianapolis, IN Jacksonville, FL Las Vegas, NV Los Angeles, CA Louisville, KY Memphis, TN Miami, FL Milwaukee, WI Minneapolis, MN Nashville, TN New York, NY Oakland, CA Omaha, NE Philadelphia, PA Phoenix, AZ Pittsburgh, PA Portland, OR Raleigh, NC Sacramento, CA Saint Louis, MO San Antonio, TX San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA San Jose, CA Seattle, WA Tucson, AZ Washington, DC Are you a Therapist? Get Listed Today Psychology Today Recent Issues Subscribe Today About Privacy Terms Accessibility United States Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC Back Psychology Today Home Find a Therapist Get Help Magazine Today Back Find a Therapist Get Help Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Members Login Sign Up United States Austin, TX Brooklyn, NY Chicago, IL Denver, CO Houston, TX Los Angeles, CA New York, NY Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA Washington, DC Back Get Help Mental Health Addiction Anxiety ADHD Asperger's Autism Bipolar Disorder Chronic Pain Depression Eating Disorders Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness Personal Growth Goal Setting Happiness Positive Psychology Stopping Smoking Relationships Low Sexual Desire Relationships Sex Family Life Child Development Parenting View Help Index Do I Need Help? Self Tests Therapy Center NEW Recently Diagnosed? Diagnosis Dictionary Types of Therapy Talk to Someone Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Back Magazine September 2020 Love: What Really Matters A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude. Subscribe Issue Archive Back Today Most Popular The Profound Rewards of Staying Single 7 Words to Overcome Your Anxiety Living with a Husband with Borderline Personality Disorder 3 Techniques to Use If Motivation Is a Barrier to Exercise How to Maintain Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships Essential Reads Reflecting on the Life and Legacy of Scott Lilienfeld Cults and Cognition: Programming the True Believer Why Do We Resist Fact-Checking? Why It's So Hard to Understand Each Other Trending Topics Coronavirus Disease 2019 Narcissism Dementia Bias Affective Forecasting Neuroscience


    For Outdoors Adventurers Sapphire and Tyler, Love Was (Exactly!) 97 Miles Away

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  • Skip to main content Psychology Today Find a Therapist Find a Therapist Therapists Therapists Psychiatrists Treatment Centers Support Groups x Therapists : Login | Sign Up United States Austin, TX Brooklyn, NY Chicago, IL Denver, CO Houston, TX Los Angeles, CA New York, NY Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA Washington, DC Get Help Mental Health Addiction Anxiety ADHD Asperger's Autism Bipolar Disorder Chronic Pain Depression Eating Disorders Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness Personal Growth Goal Setting Happiness Positive Psychology Stopping Smoking Relationships Low Sexual Desire Relationships Sex Family Life Child Development Parenting View Help Index Do I Need Help? Self Tests Therapy Center NEW Recently Diagnosed? Diagnosis Dictionary Types of Therapy Talk to Someone Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Magazine Current September 2020 Love: What Really Matters A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude. Subscribe Recent Issue Archive Today Most Popular The Profound Rewards of Staying Single 7 Words to Overcome Your Anxiety Living with a Husband with Borderline Personality Disorder 3 Techniques to Use If Motivation Is a Barrier to Exercise How to Maintain Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships Essential Reads Reflecting on the Life and Legacy of Scott Lilienfeld Cults and Cognition: Programming the True Believer Why Do We Resist Fact-Checking? Why It's So Hard to Understand Each Other Trending Topics Coronavirus Disease 2019 Narcissism Dementia Bias Affective Forecasting Neuroscience us Search Search Search Verified by Psychology Today Why Relationships Matter Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment. While need for human connection appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Some evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship starts to form in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they are theorized to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. The end of a relationship, however, is often a source of great psychological anguish. How to Build a Healthy Relationship Maintaining a strong relationship requires constant care and communication, and certain traits have been shown to be especially important for fostering healthy relationships. Each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time. In the 21st century, good relationships are generally marked by emotional and physical fairness, particularly in the distribution of chores necessary to maintain a household. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex. In good relationships, partners try to afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team. This feeling, maintained over the long term, can help couples overcome the challenges they will inevitably face together. article continues after advertisement How to Find Love Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful but frequently difficult process. Whether it's conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to encounter potential partners. To be successful, it is often necessary to go outside of one's comfort zone. Determining whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate, and whether a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love, can challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior. One possibly counterintuitive indicator of a potential match is one's sense of self. Someone who would make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their own self-concept. Another early signifier may be stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply to us can fuel anxiety. Other positive indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding relationship. Next: How People Find Love Essential Reads How to Maintain Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships Factors associated with sexual satisfaction in mixed-sex long-distance and geographically close relationships. 52 Reasons Why People Engage in Breakup Sex New research explores why people have sex with their exes. Do We Actually Know What We Want in a Romantic Partner? We all have preferences for our ideal mate, but research suggests what we say we want might not be what we choose when we come face-to-face with potential partners. Narcissistic Strategies for Attaining Power in Relationships Narcissists have a need for having power over their romantic partners. Which strategies they use to attain power and massage their self-image depends on narcissistic subtype. Recent Posts How We Lose Ourselves in Relationships Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT on October 3, 2020 in Toxic Relationships Dependency can creep into a relationship in small, unnoticed ways when that task wasn’t completed by adulthood. The struggle to achieve autonomy requires courage and often help. Dependency can creep into a relationship in small, unnoticed ways when that task wasn’t completed by adulthood. The struggle to achieve autonomy requires courage and often help. Is Your Partner Creating a Wedge with Others in Your Life? Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. on October 3, 2020 in Fulfillment at Any Age New relationships research shows that the idea that your partner will support you, no matter what, can have unintended consequences by creating wedges with others you care about. New relationships research shows that the idea that your partner will support you, no matter what, can have unintended consequences by creating wedges with others you care about. How to Make Yourself More Attractive Lawrence Josephs, Ph.D. on October 3, 2020 in Between the Sheets Do you want to make yourself more attractive? What's the secret? Learn psychology's laws of attraction. Do you want to make yourself more attractive? What's the secret? Learn psychology's laws of attraction. The One Thing You Shouldn't Say to a Bereaved Person Elaine Kasket Psy.D. on October 3, 2020 in The Online Mind These days, the first thing we wonder when someone dies is 'Was it Covid?' Asking the bereaved that question may be creating an incidental epidemic of disenfranchised grief. These days, the first thing we wonder when someone dies is 'Was it Covid?' Asking the bereaved that question may be creating an incidental epidemic of disenfranchised grief. How Asian Shame Can Perpetuate Imposter Syndrome Sam Louie MA, LMHC, S-PSB on October 2, 2020 in Minority Report Imposter syndrome is prevalent among the fellow Asians I see in my practice. Imposter syndrome is prevalent among the fellow Asians I see in my practice. Are You Overdrafting Your Relationship Bank Account? Josh Gressel Ph.D. on October 2, 2020 in Putting Psyche Back Into Psychotherapy You must make regular deposits into the bank of relationship good will with your spouse. Otherwise you risk overdrafting your account if you go through a stressful period together. You must make regular deposits into the bank of relationship good will with your spouse. Otherwise you risk overdrafting your account if you go through a stressful period together. Love or Projections? Susi Ferrarello Ph.D. on October 2, 2020 in Lying on the Philosopher's Couch When love is giving what you don't have to someone who doesn't want it When love is giving what you don't have to someone who doesn't want it 5 Steps to Prepare Aging Parents for a Bright Future Sean Grover L.C.S.W. on October 2, 2020 in When Kids Call the Shots 1. Have that talk that you're avoiding. 1. Have that talk that you're avoiding. Polyamory Has Become a Little More Mainstream Michael Castleman M.A. on October 1, 2020 in All About Sex This past summer, Somerville, Massachusetts became the first and only U.S. city to expand its domestic partnership ordinance to include multi-partner—polyamorous—groups. This past summer, Somerville, Massachusetts became the first and only U.S. city to expand its domestic partnership ordinance to include multi-partner—polyamorous—groups. How Can White Therapists Become Anti-Racist? Sari Cooper, CST, LCSW on October 1, 2020 in Sex Esteem If you're a white therapist, how have you and your BIPOC and white clients reacted to the BLM protests? Are you aware of what has come up in your body and theirs during sessions? If you're a white therapist, how have you and your BIPOC and white clients reacted to the BLM protests? Are you aware of what has come up in your body and theirs during sessions? More Recent Posts Relationships Center Why Relationships Matter How People Find Love Maintaining a Relationship Love and Sex Relationship Challenges Personality and Relationships The End of Relationships advertisement Relationships Resources Get Help Find a therapist to strengthen relationships City or Zip Connected Topics Sexual Orientation Flirting Mating Marriage Infidelity Polyamory Shyness Sex Jealousy Diagnosis Hypersexuality (Sex Addiction) Sexual Desire Disorder Test Yourself Commitment Readiness Love Diagnostics Romantic Personality Romantic Space advertisement Find a Therapist Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. City or Zip Cities: Atlanta, GA Austin, TX Baltimore, MD Boston, MA Brooklyn, NY Charlotte, NC Chicago, IL Columbus, OH Dallas, TX Denver, CO Detroit, MI Houston, TX Indianapolis, IN Jacksonville, FL Las Vegas, NV Los Angeles, CA Louisville, KY Memphis, TN Miami, FL Milwaukee, WI Minneapolis, MN Nashville, TN New York, NY Oakland, CA Omaha, NE Philadelphia, PA Phoenix, AZ Pittsburgh, PA Portland, OR Raleigh, NC Sacramento, CA Saint Louis, MO San Antonio, TX San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA San Jose, CA Seattle, WA Tucson, AZ Washington, DC Are you a Therapist? Get Listed Today Psychology Today Recent Issues Subscribe Today About Privacy Terms Accessibility United States Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC Back Psychology Today Home Find a Therapist Get Help Magazine Today Back Find a Therapist Get Help Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Members Login Sign Up United States Austin, TX Brooklyn, NY Chicago, IL Denver, CO Houston, TX Los Angeles, CA New York, NY Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA Washington, DC Back Get Help Mental Health Addiction Anxiety ADHD Asperger's Autism Bipolar Disorder Chronic Pain Depression Eating Disorders Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness Personal Growth Goal Setting Happiness Positive Psychology Stopping Smoking Relationships Low Sexual Desire Relationships Sex Family Life Child Development Parenting View Help Index Do I Need Help? Self Tests Therapy Center NEW Recently Diagnosed? Diagnosis Dictionary Types of Therapy Talk to Someone Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Back Magazine September 2020 Love: What Really Matters A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude. Subscribe Issue Archive Back Today Most Popular The Profound Rewards of Staying Single 7 Words to Overcome Your Anxiety Living with a Husband with Borderline Personality Disorder 3 Techniques to Use If Motivation Is a Barrier to Exercise How to Maintain Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships Essential Reads Reflecting on the Life and Legacy of Scott Lilienfeld Cults and Cognition: Programming the True Believer Why Do We Resist Fact-Checking? Why It's So Hard to Understand Each Other Trending Topics Coronavirus Disease 2019 Narcissism Dementia Bias Affective Forecasting Neuroscience


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